Resentment…How is it impacting YOUR life?

re·sent·ment
noun: resentment; plural noun: resentments
  1. bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly. Synonyms: bitterness, indignation, irritation, pique, dissatisfaction, disgruntlement, discontentment, discontent, resentfulness, bad feelings, hard feelings, ill will, acrimony, rancor, animosity .

    I think it's fair to say we have all experienced resentment in one form or another. Some carrying on for years, others coming and going as we muddle our way through life...this "human" experience. No matter where you find yourself in that spectrum, or how you got to resenting that person, place or thing, resentment leads us to closing our hearts, physiologically it affects our health and carrying such bad feelings and bitterness can start to "run" our lives, taking up valuable time and energy that could directed towards more personally fulfilling endeavors..

    Maybe you haven't thought of the disservice you have done to yourself while holding on to the bitterness and your perceptions about how unfairly you have been treated. In this state, we look to

     find fault and continuously look to find more evidence to support being "right" or being the "victim" in the situation. It's a vicious  circle, and keeps us spinning our wheels. I'm writing about this because I know first hand, and have been trying to find a way out of this imprisonment for most of my life (half of it being pretty unaware of really how resentful I actually was). When I perceived myself as being a victim, it became more and more difficult to see the other side of the situation, and I was living in a disempowered state. It resulted in a lot of "finger pointing", which didn't really serve me or anyone else in my world. I know for certain that I don't want to live at the effect of my emotional responses, to situations that I have placed a judgement on. What I am saying is we all perceive things differently and that is based on the judgements we carry, but the question is...Is it really true? Or is it a story, in which we can be right (the hero) or wrong (the victim). Seems pretty black & white to me...how about considering what it would be like to live in the grey areas? That may sound a tad "boring" when I put it like that...but how many shades of grey are there? And what are the possibilities in all of those shades? (more than 50 I'm sure! LOL) Where we can balance our perceptions and not jump between the highs and the lows..

    "Feeling bitter interferes with the body's hormonal and immune systems, according to Carsten Wrosch, an associate professor of psychology at Concordia University in Montreal. Studies have shown that bitter, angry people have higher blood pressure and heart rate and are more likely to die of heart disease and other illnesses.

    Physiologically, when we feel negatively towards someone, our bodies instinctively prepare to fight that person, which leads to changes such as an increase in blood pressure. "We run hot as our inflammatory system responds to dangers and threats," says Raison, clinical director of the Mind-Body Program at Emory.Feeling this way in the short term might not be dangerous -- it might even be helpful to fight off an enemy -- but the problem with bitterness is that it goes on and on. When our bodies are constantly primed to fight someone, the increase in blood pressure and in chemicals such as C-reactive protein eventually take a toll on the heart and other parts of the body.""The data that negative mental states cause heart problems is just stupendous," Raison says. "The data is just as established as smoking, and the size of the effect is the same. .

     

    "Bitterness is a nasty solvent that erodes every good thing," says Dr. Charles Raison, associate professor of psychiatry at Emory University School of Medicine and CNN Health's Mental Health expert doctor.

     

    What if we could be led by our heart and not by our minds?

    That may sound a little "airy fairy" (one of my favorite words choices from yoga teacher training), but what I mean by this is being able to really see the other side of the situation, to be more balanced in our perceptions about ourselves, "those people" that push our buttons and the situations that make us want to lose our shit. There is value there, and it has impacted my own life tremendously. Certainty and stability and a trust in the order of things. The calm within the storm. .

     

    I personally believe that no one really wants to live with the burden of resentment. Being bitter and angry contradicts our own inner wisdom and closes us off to the connection with each other that we are all striving for (whether we are conscious of it or not). Over the last year I have been partaking in courses and most recently, facilitator training (The Demartini Method Training Program) that has very much inspired me and has brought about growth, connection and intense gratitude that is spilling over into all of my life areas. It's my hearts desire to share this with others, so if this has peaked your curiosity don't hesitate to contact me!.

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    I will be hosting a group workshop in coming weeks that will incorporate the two things that have created a  major shift in my own life; a fun & lively yoga practise(for all levels) and The Demartini Method for Groups. If you live in Calgary or surrounding areas this would be an excellent opportunity to find experience this first hand!.

    Special thanks to: Dr. John Demartini , Meagan Fettes & Celeste White from One Love Yoga Teacher Training.

    Keep you eyes peeled for me next post on Infatuation...How is it impacting your life? It isn't all what it's cracked up to be!.

    Excerpt on physiological effects of resentment(italicized text) credited to:
    http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/08/17/bitter.resentful.ep/
     

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