Disclaimer: YOGA Teacher Training should only be attempted by individuals that have a strong desire to; foster meaningful connections with others, learn how to be a good listener/communicator, understand self love, experience profound self awareness , be real & authentic, experience peace and maybe...just maybe the side effect will be to take your YOGA practise to a whole new freaking level!
SO...YA I FREAKING DID IT! Along with a bunch of 4 other perfectly-imperfect, beautiful
women bitches! 200 hard core intense hours, jammed into 2 weeks...blood, sweat and tears we did it together! I get emotional just thinking about it...I could never have imagined what was in store for us all. As a matter of fact, I walked into the training with a touch of arrogance (BAHAHAHA) actually thinking that this self inquiry stuff was going to be a cinch, since I was already so fabulously self aware. I mean with all the "exposure" that I've had to personal/spiritual development, courses I've taken, books I've read, mentorship programs and one on one consults with some of the "big guns" in the world of personal growth I figured I may be able to pass on some of my infinite knowledge... I have this shit licked!
OH MAN! I definitely ended up licking some shit...maybe I even ate some! Okay, not for real I'm exaggerating a wee bit( I wasn't that much of an asshole), but you get the point I hope.
I like to be known as the girl that has her shit together, you know? I've let go of a lot of it through the years. I'm not nearly as neurotic as I was with my home and kids, trying to project this UEBER perfect image of the perfect wife, mother etc. I had to give that up years ago, because quite frankly it was making me cuckoo and I burned out. I switched gears after that and really dedicated myself to my own personal growth and in that developed a brand new identity for myself. MRS. SELF HELP GURU...and I had so much information to share and LOOOOOVVVVE to give that I may have suffocated a few of you...My intention was pure, well mostly it was...I did want to be validated for everything I knew and I wanted to be "special"' well...maybe "EXTRA special"...That kind of thinking will fuck things up a bit, you know what I mean?
I was pretty self absorbed, and in all my incessant preaching, lecturing and coddling I created some monsters for myself.
The truth is I care about people, to my own detriment sometimes, but I'm learning how to unwind this, and bring it all back to balance. To ALLOW people their experiences and to just keep loving them regardless of how that all unfolds. I know now what it feels like to not take things personally, to take a stand for myself and others, to be true to myself and what it really feels like to love myself! This is just a small part of what this training has done for me, and I haven't even mentioned the actual YOGA yet! (Keep your eyes peeled for that in a separate post)
I just know one thing for sure, nothing ever happens for nothing, the crazy chaos that brought to my knees, also brought me what I needed to stand up tall again. The people that have crossed my path, have all had a divine purpose in my life and I am fucking grateful for everyone of you! You have been the keys to unlocking my doors. My learning isn't over yet, I'm sure I'll spend some more time on my knees in the future...but now I've got me a set of knee pads - to make the time I spend there a little less uncomfortable. (Get your minds out of the gutter! This is soulful stuff here!).
The point being that yes, "shitty" stuff will still happen, but I'm able to pull myself out of it much faster, change my perception, knowing that in all losses, there are also gains and nothing lasts forever. I take comfort in that, I hope you will too.
So....Celeste White & Meagan Fettes, thank you for skillfully guiding me to my light( is this too "airy fairy?), with such unconditional love. You have both truly lead by example, I am inspired by you both. And....who can forget my "bitches"? You girls have all showed me so many parts of me, it's no wonder why we were all together in this training. I fucking love the shit out of you all! As Lucy would say NAMASTE BITCHES!!!!!